Everything that ever happened (or ever will happen) happens in me.
I am always as close to you as your own breath, yet I extend throughout the entire universe.
Everything exists within me, and nothing can exist outside of me.
I am weightless, formless, and invisible.
I am everywhere at once, yet nowhere in particular.
No matter what you’ve done (or haven’t done), I am always here to accept you and take you back into me—although you can never truly leave me, and I never leave you.
I am always with you.
The Answer:
The present moment (although I go by other names as well).
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Although I’m tempted to put in my two cents of commentary, I’d rather hear your thoughts, reactions, and comments first!
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“A man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest.” – Paul Simon (from “The Boxer“)
Or, as I less poetically paraphrase it: People don’t want to know the truth, and they don’t want to experience reality. People just want to hear and experience things that reinforce their pre-existing beliefs.
I know this might sound cynical—especially coming from a guy who prides himself on seeing the best in people and in the world in general—but, as I wrote (in the title):
This is also my most empowering belief!
Think about it: If we tend to experience reality in ways that reinforce our beliefs, then we have the power to alter our life experience simply by altering our belief system!
By adopting more positive beliefs and expectations, we can have a more positive experience of life!
Evidence of this principle abounds:
When teachers are told (and therefore believe) that their students are gifted, they “magically” produce gifted students!
When you try to “catch someone doing something right,” they “magically” start doing more things right.
We also know that, more often than not, placebos work!
Whether you attribute this to the power of positive thinking, the law of attraction, or the brain’s reticular activating system, you can probably notice this in your own life:
The world proves you right—by mirroring back your beliefs.
Knowing this, you never again have to stay stuck in a crummy life experience. You can expect the best in people, in situations, and in yourself—and, more often than not, I bet that your expectations are met. (And when they’re not, you can assume that it’s for the greater good, whether or not you fully understand how or why.)
Think your beliefs are based on your experiences? It may be the other way around!
So choose your beliefs wisely, because you’re also choosing your life experiences!
Ask yourself:
If the world did prove me right, what would it prove?
Are there any times when I wish it wouldn’t prove me right?
What beliefs could I adopt that I’d LOVE to have proven right?
For instance, if you believe, “I have to struggle to make ends meet, but I always manage to make it,” there’s a good chance that’s what you experience!
In this case, you’d probably like to keep the “always manage to make it” part, but lose the “struggle” part—which could lead to a best-of-both-worlds replacement belief: “Abundance flows naturally as I do what I love, and I always manage to make it!”
Wouldn’t it be nice to have that proven right?!
Right or happy?
Have you ever heard anyone ask, “Would you rather be right or happy?” Well, by choosing positive, empowering beliefs—about yourself, others, and the world in general—chances are, you’ll be both!
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I would love to hear your comments about how the world has (or hasn’t) proven you right (i.e., reflected your beliefs). Are there any beliefs that, if proven right, might lead you to a happier life experience?
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What are your gifts? How do you express gratitude for them? How do you use them? The following story might help shed some light on how to appreciate and make the most of the gifts you’ve been given.
The Twins’ Gifts
Once upon a time there were twins named Jimmy and Johnny. They had an uncle who lived far away but visited once a year on their birthday—and he always brought them great presents!
One year he gave them each a painting set—complete with brushes, oil paints, and many canvasses. Johnny took the set without even thanking his uncle, but Jimmy was practically bursting with gratitude: “Thank you SO much, Uncle,” he said. “I will cherish this wonderful gift every day of my life!”
And it was true!
When the uncle returned the following year, he saw that Jimmy had built a shrine for the paint set, placing the brushes, paints, and blank canvasses next to a picture of his uncle, who he thanked each and every day for the wonderful gift. Once a week he took the paint set down, dusted it, and carefully returned it to the shrine.
But he never painted a picture.
Johnny, on the other hand, had used up the entire set and painted dozens of beautiful pictures.
Which reaction would you prefer?
If you were the uncle, how would you feel about the twins’ responses to the gifts? Which one would you rather see?
Personally, I love it when people express their gratitude. I love feeling appreciated, especially when I give someone a gift or do something nice for them. So I would really apprecriate Jimmy’s effusive thanks. But never using the gift sort of defeats the purpose! The whole point of a paint set is to paint!
On the other hand, I’d be happy that Johnny was actually using the gift. To me, that is perhaps the best way to you show that you truly appreciate a gift. But an actual “thank you” would be nice, too.
So, which reaction do I think is best? BOTH!
Either twin’s reaction is incomplete by itself, but together they’re a recipe for a happy life: Express gratitude for the gifts you’re given, and then use those gifts!
Give thanks for the gift of your body—and then use it, move it, and enjoy it! (After all, isn’t that the point of having a body?)
Give thanks for the gift of your mind—and then use it to think, imagine, and dream! (After all, isn’t that the point of having a mind?)
Give thanks for the gift of your heart—and then use it to love! (After all, isn’t that the point of having a heart?)
The same goes for any gift you’ve been given—whether it’s physical prowess, artistic abilities, a knack for numbers, or a kind heart. Give thanks, and then use those gifts! Share them! Express them! Give them to others!
The Greatest Gift of All
Also remember that regardless of what other gifts you do or don’t have, ALL of us have been given the greatest gift of all: the gift of life!
And, like the twins in the story, it is important to say thank you for this gift. It is wonderful to take time to cherish and appreciate this gift. But in addition to this, I hope you’ll give thanks for this ultimate gift…by living.
Fully.
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Are there specific gifts that you’ve been given that you would like to “take down from the shelf” and start using more? How can you more fully appreciate and use the gift of life itself? I’d love to read your comments–about your gifts or any other thoughts you’d like to share!
What are your quirks? Are they harmless idiosyncrasies or unhealthy habits that have grown so familiar that you don’t even notice them anymore? Here’s how you can tell the difference and lead a more conscious, healthy life—without becoming “normal”!
Have you seen the movie, Little Miss Sunshine? It’s that rare gem of a film that manages to be simultaneously uplifting and depressing, twisted yet heartfelt. There are so many wonderful things that I could write about this film, but I want to focus on a detail that reveals a lot about personal growth and conscious living: the van.
(If you haven’t seen the film, don’t worry—I’m not giving any spoilers beyond what you’d see in a 1:30 trailer.)
(Van scene at 0:38!)
In the movie, the family has to start their semi-broken van by pushing it, getting it into second gear (around 10 mph), running alongside and jumping in.
As weird as this situation is, what’s weirder still is how quickly it becomes “normal” for the family—and, in turn, starts to seem normal to us, the viewers.
Where are your “vans” hiding? (Probably in plain sight!)
Ever since my wife, Jodi, and I watched this movie, we’ve been on the lookout for our own “vans”—those bizarre parts of our lives that we’re so used to that we barely even notice them.
Sometimes we can spot them while they’re happening, and sometimes only in retrospect do we realize how odd a situation really was.
Crawling under the table
The other day I came across this old photo of me and Jodi working at our craft business, and we remembered an old “van”: In our old house, we had our workroom packed so tightly that in order for me to get to the far end of the room, I had to crawl under the table.
Like the Little Miss Sunshine van scenes, I looked pretty silly doing it. And I felt pretty silly the first few times I did it. But, just like the movie, before too long it started to feel so normal that we didn’t think twice about it anymore. If I needed something from the far end of the room, I simply crawled under the table. Perfectly normal.
Now that we’ve moved, we have plenty of space to walk all the way around our work table—and we realize just how strange it was that we didn’t before!
Although “vans” are easier to spot in retrospect, sometimes you can spot them while they’re still in your life. Here’s one that we still deal with every day:
Cats in the Tub
Shortly after we got our kittens, Biddle and Buncom, we noticed that they were fascinated with dripping water. So sometimes we’d put them in the tub and leave the water dripping for their entertainment.
We soon realized, however, that not only did they like to watch the dripping water, but they also liked to drink it. They liked drinking it so much, in fact, that soon they refused to drink out of their water bowls. Instead, whenever they got thirsty, they’d sit in the tub and howl until we turned on the water.
And, taking a page from the Textbook of Bad Parenting, we always did it—just to shut them up.
So it’s no big surprise that, to this day, they still only drink out of the tub.
(By the way: our third cat, Elsie, only drinks from her water bowl—so it can be done!)
Some vans are harmless. Others aren’t.
Not all “vans” are as innocuous as crawling under the table or as cute as kittens drinking from the tub. Often, they’re not just quirky or weird—they’re unhealthy or even dangerous. And we’re often too close to notice them, much less realize that they might be a problem.
Very dysfunctional or toxic situations and environments can seem perfectly normal if they’re part of our everyday lives. This is especially true for children who grow up in an unhealthy (or downright crazy) environment. Because they have nothing to compare it to, they think might think that their family’s bizarre behavior is normal. Even as adults, however, we can get into patterns that become so ingrained we cease to notice or even think about them.
So, how do you spot your vans?
Here are 3 tricks that can help you:
Your Life: The Movie – Imagine that your life were a movie—like Little Miss Sunshine. What scenes do you think the audience would find laughable, weird, or even disturbing?
Under Surveillance – Let’s indulge our most paranoid conspiracy theories for a moment and imagine that you were being watched 24/7—that “They” saw everything you did (but without your knowledge, so you couldn’t “pretend to be normal”). What do you think would stand out as odd or unhealthy?
Ask a Friend – If you honestly can’t think of any “vans” in your life, ask a friend (not a spouse, partner, or roommate—who might also be too close to the vans to notice them)—someone who knows you beyond your surface “representative,” someone who knows your dirt!
After you identify your vans, ask yourself if you’d be closer to your ideal life with or without them. Which ones might be red-flag symptoms of larger issues, and which ones are merely harmless eccentricities—amusing quirks that make you you?
It’s NOT about being “normal”!
This process isn’t about trying to be “normal”! (Who wants that?!) Quirks and eccentricities make us unique individuals. They make life colorful and fun. They give us a good laugh—frequently at ourselves!
The point of spotting your “vans” is to become more aware—to live consciously, identify possible red flags (or even yellow ones), and get into the driver’s seat of your own life.
Even if you have to jump into the seat while the van’s moving!
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What are your vans? Are they simply funny quirks and weird habits you’ve gotten used to? Or do you have any that you’d like to change? Feel free to share them in the “Comment” box below. I promise not to judge—although I can’t promise I won’t laugh!
P.S. There’s still time to join A Month of Meditation—a free online group that supports your meditation practice, whether you’re a beginner, enlightened master, or “halfway up the mountain”!
What Bob Dylan Lyrics Taught Me About Personal Growth
If you’ve known me for more than five minutes, there’s a good chance that you know how much I love Bob Dylan. I love his music. I even love his voice! But most of all, I love his words.
Despite his usual rich complexity, one of my favorite Dylan lines is one of his simplest:
I’ll know my song well before I start singin’.
These nine words (the last line before the final refrain of “A Hard Rain’s A-Gonna Fall“) have been a sort of mantra for me throughout my adult life.
I wanted to know what I was talking (or singin’) about before I opened my mouth.
I didn’t want to be one of “those people”–you know, the ones who are so quick to spout off opinions and/or misinformation on topics they know next to nothing about. Or, to take a more literal interpretation, I didn’t want to be like those American Idol contestants who have a week to learn one verse of a song yet, come showtime, can’t remember the lyrics.
I wanted to be prepared.
And there’s nothing wrong with being prepared–with having your homework done and learning your lines. The problem, for me, arose when preparation became procrastination.
For two decades, I wanted to write and share ideas that were practically bubbling out of me; but I didn’t pursue publication–for fear that I wasn’t ready, wasn’t qualified, wasn’t an expert/authority–for fear that I didn’t “know my song well.”
At first I used the excuse that I didn’t pursue this dream because I needed more experience. And then I told myself I needed to be more well-read first. And then I needed another degree.
But at a certain point, I had to admit that I was just afraid of being seen–afraid of going public (“public-ation”).
Now, please don’t get me wrong–I wholeheartedly endorse reading and education and experience. I’m not suggesting that you perform surgery without a medical degree or attempt to fly a plane without a pilot’s license. I still think you should know your song well before you start singing (especially if you’re going to sing it in front of millions of people).
On the other hand, you don’t have to wait until you know the songwriter’s complete works and have degrees in music history and theory and composition and 10+ years of vocal training and proficiency in at least three instruments.
At a certain point, you just have to say, “Good enough,” and get out on the stage.
This, of course, means you’ll be exposed, vulnerable, and susceptible to many possible repercussions:
You may be judged (especially by yourself).
You may become one of “those people” who sometimes makes mistakes, forgets lyrics, or simply doesn’t know everything. (Another name for “those people,” by the way, is “humans.”)
You may become less judgmental and more forgiving of “those people.”
You may have to concede the fact that you’re not perfect. (Or, more likely than not, you won’t have to concede this fact…because it will be rather obvious.)
You may have to concede the fact that you’re a work in progress.
You may have to concede the fact that you are, indeed, human.
But you’ll also probably wonder:
“What took me so long?”
So, like every bad teacher who ever lived, I urge you to “do as I say–not as I do” (or didn’t do). Don’t wait for two decades!
If you have a gift or a passion that you want to share with the world…do it now. Don’t deprive the world of your gift because you’re nervous or embarrassed or afraid of being criticized or judged or seen.
Yes, be prepared. Be confident. Be strong. But don’t wait forever. You’re probably more ready than you think.
Once you know your song well, start singing!
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Do you have a “song” (literal or figurative) that you’d like to start singing? A talent or a message that you’d like to share with the world? What is it? If you haven’t already shared it, you can start right now–by leaving a comment in the box below!
P.S. Wanna Meditate? I just started a month-long meditation group, where my wife, Jodi, and a bunch of friends are all committing to meditate every day for this month. Whether you’re new to meditation (or just “medi-curious”) and looking to give it a try, or you’re a seasoned meditator who would like to connect with a like-minded community, this could be a great way to build a meditation practice into a daily habit and get support in the process! Click here for details.
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And, taking a page from the Textbook of Bad Parenting, we always did it—just to shut them up.