“A man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest.”
– Paul Simon (from “The Boxer“)

Or, as I less poetically paraphrase it: People don’t want to know the truth, and they don’t want to experience reality. People just want to hear and experience things that reinforce their pre-existing beliefs.

I know this might sound cynical—especially coming from a guy who prides himself on seeing the best in people and in the world in general—but, as I wrote (in the title):

This is also my most empowering belief!

Think about it: If we tend to experience reality in ways that reinforce our beliefs, then we have the power to alter our life experience simply by altering our belief system!

By adopting more positive beliefs and expectations, we can have a more positive experience of life!

Evidence of this principle abounds:

• When teachers are told (and therefore believe) that their students are gifted, they “magically” produce gifted students!
• When you try to “catch someone doing something right,” they “magically” start doing more things right.
• We also know that, more often than not, placebos work!

Whether you attribute this to the power of positive thinking, the law of attraction, or the brain’s reticular activating system, you can probably notice this in your own life:

The world proves you right—by mirroring back your beliefs.

Knowing this, you never again have to stay stuck in a crummy life experience. You can expect the best in people, in situations, and in yourself—and, more often than not, I bet that your expectations are met. (And when they’re not, you can assume that it’s for the greater good, whether or not you fully understand how or why.)

Think your beliefs are based on your experiences? It may be the other way around!

So choose your beliefs wisely, because you’re also choosing your life experiences!

Ask yourself:

• If the world did prove me right, what would it prove?
• Are there any times when I wish it wouldn’t prove me right?
• What beliefs could I adopt that I’d LOVE to have proven right?

For instance, if you believe, “I have to struggle to make ends meet, but I always manage to make it,” there’s a good chance that’s what you experience!

In this case, you’d probably like to keep the “always manage to make it” part, but lose the “struggle” part—which could lead to a best-of-both-worlds replacement belief: “Abundance flows naturally as I do what I love, and I always manage to make it!”

Wouldn’t it be nice to have that proven right?!

Right or happy?

Have you ever heard anyone ask, “Would you rather be right or happy?” Well, by choosing positive, empowering beliefs—about yourself, others, and the world in general—chances are, you’ll be both!

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I would love to hear your comments about how the world has (or hasn’t) proven you right (i.e., reflected your beliefs). Are there any beliefs that, if proven right, might lead you to a happier life experience?

P.S. If you enjoyed this post, please share it by clicking the buttons below! Thanks!

What are your gifts? How do you express gratitude for them? How do you use them? The following story might help shed some light on how to appreciate and make the most of the gifts you’ve been given.

The Twins’ Gifts

Once upon a time there were twins named Jimmy and Johnny. They had an uncle who lived far away but visited once a year on their birthday—and he always brought them great presents!

One year he gave them each a painting set—complete with brushes, oil paints, and many canvasses. Johnny took the set without even thanking his uncle, but Jimmy was practically bursting with gratitude: “Thank you SO much, Uncle,” he said. “I will cherish this wonderful gift every day of my life!”

And it was true!

When the uncle returned the following year, he saw that Jimmy had built a shrine for the paint set, placing the brushes, paints, and blank canvasses next to a picture of his uncle, who he thanked each and every day for the wonderful gift. Once a week he took the paint set down, dusted it, and carefully returned it to the shrine.

But he never painted a picture.

Johnny, on the other hand, had used up the entire set and painted dozens of beautiful pictures.

Which reaction would you prefer?

If you were the uncle, how would you feel about the twins’ responses to the gifts? Which one would you rather see?

Personally, I love it when people express their gratitude. I love feeling appreciated, especially when I give someone a gift or do something nice for them. So I would really apprecriate Jimmy’s effusive thanks. But never using the gift sort of defeats the purpose! The whole point of a paint set is to paint!

On the other hand, I’d be happy that Johnny was actually using the gift. To me, that is perhaps the best way to you show that you truly appreciate a gift. But an actual “thank you” would be nice, too.

So, which reaction do I think is best? BOTH!

Either twin’s reaction is incomplete by itself, but together they’re a recipe for a happy life: Express gratitude for the gifts you’re given, and then use those gifts!

• Give thanks for the gift of your body—and then use it, move it, and enjoy it! (After all, isn’t that the point of having a body?)
• Give thanks for the gift of your mind—and then use it to think, imagine, and dream! (After all, isn’t that the point of having a mind?)
• Give thanks for the gift of your heart—and then use it to love! (After all, isn’t that the point of having a heart?)

The same goes for any gift you’ve been given—whether it’s physical prowess, artistic abilities, a knack for numbers, or a kind heart. Give thanks, and then use those gifts! Share them! Express them! Give them to others!

The Greatest Gift of All

Also remember that regardless of what other gifts you do or don’t have, ALL of us have been given the greatest gift of all: the gift of life!

And, like the twins in the story, it is important to say thank you for this gift. It is wonderful to take time to cherish and appreciate this gift. But in addition to this, I hope you’ll give thanks for this ultimate gift…by living.

Fully.

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Are there specific gifts that you’ve been given that you would like to “take down from the shelf” and start using more? How can you more fully appreciate and use the gift of life itself? I’d love to read your comments–about your gifts or any other thoughts you’d like to share!

(gift photo © 123RF Stock Photos)

What are your quirks? Are they harmless idiosyncrasies or unhealthy habits that have grown so familiar that you don’t even notice them anymore? Here’s how you can tell the difference and lead a more conscious, healthy life—without becoming “normal”!

Have you seen the movie, Little Miss Sunshine? It’s that rare gem of a film that manages to be simultaneously uplifting and depressing, twisted yet heartfelt. There are so many wonderful things that I could write about this film, but I want to focus on a detail that reveals a lot about personal growth and conscious living: the van.

(If you haven’t seen the film, don’t worry—I’m not giving any spoilers beyond what you’d see in a 1:30 trailer.)

(Van scene at 0:38!)

In the movie, the family has to start their semi-broken van by pushing it, getting it into second gear (around 10 mph), running alongside and jumping in.

As weird as this situation is, what’s weirder still is how quickly it becomes “normal” for the family—and, in turn, starts to seem normal to us, the viewers.

Where are your “vans” hiding? (Probably in plain sight!)

Ever since my wife, Jodi, and I watched this movie, we’ve been on the lookout for our own “vans”—those bizarre parts of our lives that we’re so used to that we barely even notice them.

Sometimes we can spot them while they’re happening, and sometimes only in retrospect do we realize how odd a situation really was.

Crawling under the table

The other day I came across this old photo of me and Jodi working at our craft business, and we remembered an old “van”: In our old house, we had our workroom packed so tightly that in order for me to get to the far end of the room, I had to crawl under the table.

Like the Little Miss Sunshine van scenes, I looked pretty silly doing it. And I felt pretty silly the first few times I did it. But, just like the movie, before too long it started to feel so normal that we didn’t think twice about it anymore. If I needed something from the far end of the room, I simply crawled under the table. Perfectly normal.

Now that we’ve moved, we have plenty of space to walk all the way around our work table—and we realize just how strange it was that we didn’t before!

Although “vans” are easier to spot in retrospect, sometimes you can spot them while they’re still in your life. Here’s one that we still deal with every day:

Cats in the Tub

Shortly after we got our kittens, Biddle and Buncom, we noticed that they were fascinated with dripping water. So sometimes we’d put them in the tub and leave the water dripping for their entertainment.

We soon realized, however, that not only did they like to watch the dripping water, but they also liked to drink it. They liked drinking it so much, in fact, that soon they refused to drink out of their water bowls. Instead, whenever they got thirsty, they’d sit in the tub and howl until we turned on the water.

And, taking a page from the Textbook of Bad Parenting, we always did it—just to shut them up.

So it’s no big surprise that, to this day, they still only drink out of the tub.

(By the way: our third cat, Elsie, only drinks from her water bowl—so it can be done!)

Some vans are harmless. Others aren’t.

Not all “vans” are as innocuous as crawling under the table or as cute as kittens drinking from the tub. Often, they’re not just quirky or weird—they’re unhealthy or even dangerous. And we’re often too close to notice them, much less realize that they might be a problem.

Very dysfunctional or toxic situations and environments can seem perfectly normal if they’re part of our everyday lives. This is especially true for children who grow up in an unhealthy (or downright crazy) environment. Because they have nothing to compare it to, they think might think that their family’s bizarre behavior is normal. Even as adults, however, we can get into patterns that become so ingrained we cease to notice or even think about them.

So, how do you spot your vans?

Here are 3 tricks that can help you:

• Your Life: The Movie – Imagine that your life were a movie—like Little Miss Sunshine. What scenes do you think the audience would find laughable, weird, or even disturbing?
• Under Surveillance – Let’s indulge our most paranoid conspiracy theories for a moment and imagine that you were being watched 24/7—that “They” saw everything you did (but without your knowledge, so you couldn’t “pretend to be normal”). What do you think would stand out as odd or unhealthy?
• Ask a Friend – If you honestly can’t think of any “vans” in your life, ask a friend (not a spouse, partner, or roommate—who might also be too close to the vans to notice them)—someone who knows you beyond your surface “representative,” someone who knows your dirt!

After you identify your vans, ask yourself if you’d be closer to your ideal life with or without them. Which ones might be red-flag symptoms of larger issues, and which ones are merely harmless eccentricities—amusing quirks that make you you?

It’s NOT about being “normal”!

This process isn’t about trying to be “normal”! (Who wants that?!) Quirks and eccentricities make us unique individuals. They make life colorful and fun. They give us a good laugh—frequently at ourselves!

The point of spotting your “vans” is to become more aware—to live consciously, identify possible red flags (or even yellow ones), and get into the driver’s seat of your own life.

Even if you have to jump into the seat while the van’s moving!

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What are your vans? Are they simply funny quirks and weird habits you’ve gotten used to? Or do you have any that you’d like to change? Feel free to share them in the “Comment” box below. I promise not to judge—although I can’t promise I won’t laugh!

P.S. There’s still time to join A Month of Meditation—a free online group that supports your meditation practice, whether you’re a beginner, enlightened master, or “halfway up the mountain”!

What Bob Dylan Lyrics Taught Me About Personal Growth

If you’ve known me for more than five minutes, there’s a good chance that you know how much I love Bob Dylan. I love his music. I even love his voice! But most of all, I love his words.

His amazing lyrics range from incisive social/political commentary to deeply personal confessions and, of course, his famously surreal poetry–in which he creates a semi-alternate reality, populated by neon madmen, a one-eyed undertaker, and a princess on the steeple–that somehow rings true to real-life experience.

Despite his usual rich complexity, one of my favorite Dylan lines is one of his simplest:

I’ll know my song well before I start singin’.

These nine words (the last line before the final refrain of “A Hard Rain’s A-Gonna Fall“) have been a sort of mantra for me throughout my adult life.

I wanted to know what I was talking (or singin’) about before I opened my mouth.

I didn’t want to be one of “those people”–you know, the ones who are so quick to spout off opinions and/or misinformation on topics they know next to nothing about. Or, to take a more literal interpretation, I didn’t want to be like those American Idol contestants who have a week to learn one verse of a song yet, come showtime, can’t remember the lyrics.

I wanted to be prepared.

And there’s nothing wrong with being prepared–with having your homework done and learning your lines. The problem, for me, arose when preparation became procrastination.

For two decades, I wanted to write and share ideas that were practically bubbling out of me; but I didn’t pursue publication–for fear that I wasn’t ready, wasn’t qualified, wasn’t an expert/authority–for fear that I didn’t “know my song well.”

At first I used the excuse that I didn’t pursue this dream because I needed more experience. And then I told myself I needed to be more well-read first. And then I needed another degree.

But at a certain point, I had to admit that I was just afraid of being seen–afraid of going public (“public-ation”).

I was hiding.

(Until last week’s blog launch, that is.)

Now, please don’t get me wrong–I wholeheartedly endorse reading and education and experience. I’m not suggesting that you perform surgery without a medical degree or attempt to fly a plane without a pilot’s license. I still think you should know your song well before you start singing (especially if you’re going to sing it in front of millions of people).

On the other hand, you don’t have to wait until you know the songwriter’s complete works and have degrees in music history and theory and composition and 10+ years of vocal training and proficiency in at least three instruments.

At a certain point, you just have to say, “Good enough,” and get out on the stage.

This, of course, means you’ll be exposed, vulnerable, and susceptible to many possible repercussions:

• You may be judged (especially by yourself).
• You may become one of “those people” who sometimes makes mistakes, forgets lyrics, or simply doesn’t know everything. (Another name for “those people,” by the way, is “humans.”)
• You may become less judgmental and more forgiving of “those people.”
• You may have to concede the fact that you’re not perfect. (Or, more likely than not, you won’t have to concede this fact…because it will be rather obvious.)
• You may have to concede the fact that you’re a work in progress.
• You may have to concede the fact that you are, indeed, human.

But you’ll also probably wonder:

“What took me so long?”

So, like every bad teacher who ever lived, I urge you to “do as I say–not as I do” (or didn’t do). Don’t wait for two decades!

If you have a gift or a passion that you want to share with the world…do it now. Don’t deprive the world of your gift because you’re nervous or embarrassed or afraid of being criticized or judged or seen.

Yes, be prepared. Be confident. Be strong. But don’t wait forever. You’re probably more ready than you think.

Once you know your song well, start singing!

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Do you have a “song” (literal or figurative) that you’d like to start singing? A talent or a message that you’d like to share with the world? What is it? If you haven’t already shared it, you can start right now–by leaving a comment in the box below!

P.S. Wanna Meditate? I just started a month-long meditation group, where my wife, Jodi, and a bunch of friends are all committing to meditate every day for this month. Whether you’re new to meditation (or just “medi-curious”) and looking to give it a try, or you’re a seasoned meditator who would like to connect with a like-minded community, this could be a great way to build a meditation practice into a daily habit and get support in the process! Click here for details.

THE STORY

Do you know the story of the blind men and the elephant? If you don’t (or to refresh your memory, in case it’s been awhile), here’s the story:

Six blind men touch an elephant in order to learn what it’s like. They each touch a different part of the elephant and draw different conclusions.

• The first man touches the elephant’s side and concludes that an elephant is like a wall.
• The second one touches a tusk and concludes that an elephant is like a spear.
• The third touches the trunk and concludes that an elephant is like a snake.
• The fourth touches a leg and concludes that an elephant is like a tree.
• The fifth touches an ear and concludes that an elephant is like a fan.
• The sixth touches the tail and concludes that an elephant is like a rope.

Understandably, disagreements ensue.

THE TAKE-AWAY

This story has been interpreted in different ways (which seems fitting, given the subject matter), but here’s what I think is the central message:

Everyone is right from his or her own point of view, but everyone’s point of view is limited and incomplete.

It’s a lesson in humility—a reminder that no single person can see the whole picture. It also cautions us against making universal generalizations based on our limited experience. And it drives home the fact that other people’s perceptions and experiences can be completely valid, even if they’re very different from our own.

The key is how you choose to see those differences.

• You can see them as threatening—challenges to your absolute and total rightness.
• You can see them as enlightening—ways to learn about ideas, perspectives, and events that you wouldn’t necessarily experience first-hand.
• You can also see them as options—possibilities that you may or may not explore at some point in your life.

Although it’s easy to fall into the first reaction (feeling threatened), when you can see differences as teachers or possibilities, your world expands.

Moving from “no but” to “yes and”

Like an elephant, the world is bigger than any single viewpoint or description can encompass. So, to approach a fuller understanding of reality, we have to become more inclusive of seemingly opposing viewpoints. We have to move from a “no-but” mentality to a “yes-and” mentality.

The dispute with the blind men (like so many others) could have been avoided by simply changing the words “no but” to “yes and.”

Consider the difference: “No, you’re wrong—an elephant is not like a rope, but it is like a fan!” vs. “Yes, an elephant is like a rope, and it’s also like a fan.” The first approach arrogantly assumes that you possess the entire truth and that anything not aligned with your perspective is thereby false, whereas the second approach humbly concedes that other people’s viewpoints can be valid without dismissing or invalidating your own.

The Elephant in the Room

So, the next time you encounter a person whose perspective is very different from your own, instead of giving in to the knee-jerk temptation to dismiss or criticize them, consider that they may be offering you a very valuable piece of life’s puzzle. They’re also presenting you with an option—a viewpoint that you can choose to explore or not, but at least you’re now aware of. At the very least, a differing perspective can serve as a reminder that life is bigger, more varied, and more amazing than you’d previously realized.

What a wonderful gift that is!

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When have you encountered someone whose viewpoint was extremely different—possibly even at odds with your own? Is there a chance that their belief might be just as valid (from their point of view) as yours? Even if you continue to see things differently, what is something that you can learn from their viewpoint? I’d love to hear YOUR  point of view about this story and subject!

(elephant photo by Roy Costello)

My previous post was about the importance of making a plan and following through with it.

Of course, this is easier said than done. Making a plan is one thing; sticking to it is quite another. So, here are 4 tips to help you follow through:

Be S.M.A.R.T.

Rather than making your plans and goals vague, make them specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and timed. (For example, compare “Get healthy” vs. “Lose 25 pounds in 6 months.”)

Get an Accountability Partner

Your odds of following through increase tremendously when you have even one person who knows about your plan and will hold you accountable for it. Checking in regularly—weekly or even daily—can be a great motivator to stick with your plan (or at least be honest with yourself and your partner if you fall off the wagon—and then get back on!).

Have a “Plan A,” but be flexible.

Circumstances change. Things come up unexpectedly. Once you’ve started, you may find that your initial plan was unrealistic—too ambitious or too stressful to stick with.

When you encounter unexpected obstacles, detours, or setbacks, don’t give up. But also don’t feel you have to doggedly follow your initial plan to the letter.

If your best-laid plans go awry, follow these 3 R’s:

• Re-evaluate.
• Revise your plan.
• Renew your commitment to “Plan B” (or C or D or E…).

Love Yourself Unconditionally

OK, go ahead—roll your eyes and smirk at me for getting mushy all of a sudden. I can take it. But I mean this seriously, especially with regard to plans and goals.

So often, we beat ourselves up for not being where we want to be: We should be thinner, richer, more accomplished, etc., etc., etc. And sometimes this self-flagellation does serve to motivate us to action. But more often than not, it just makes us feel like crap! And it perpetuates the self-defeating thoughts and poor self-image that probably contributed to the perceived “problem” in the first place!

Whether or not self-loathing can ever inspire positive action, wouldn’t it feel better to be OK with yourself as you are, wherever you are—and then also feel good about yourself when you reach your goal (and every step along the way)? What’s the point of making plans or reaching any goal if you’re miserable the whole time? Wouldn’t it feel better to feel better?

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I hope that these tips help you turn your dreams into reality! Do you have any other tips for following through with your plans? I’d love to hear what has (or hasn’t) worked for you.

 photo © Vladacanon | Stock Free Images & Dreamstime Stock Photos

Meet Andy and Bob.

Andy and Bob both want to lose weight.

If you ask Andy about his weight-loss plan, he’ll tell you: “I want to be healthy enough to play ball with my kids, so I plan on losing twenty-five pounds in the next six months. To do this, I’m going to eat smaller, healthier meals and exercise regularly. I just joined a gym, where I’m going to work out twice a week with a personal trainer. I’m also walking once a week with a friend who also wants to lose weight. I’m starting today, and I’ll do whatever it takes to reach my goal.”

Ask Bob how he plans on losing weight, and he’ll tell you: “I don’t have a plan. Haven’t you ever heard the saying, ‘If you want to make God laugh, make a plan!’? I’ll just trust that if I’m supposed to lose the weight, I’ll lose the weight.”

If you had to put money on Andy or Bob, which one would you bet will lose weight?

(Me too.)

Now, losing 25 pounds may not be your dream. Maybe you want to write a critically acclaimed novel or sell your paintings in a gallery or raise a million dollars for charity. Regardless of your specific goals, however, having (and implementing) a plan will greatly increase the odds that your dream will come true.

You probably know that it’s helpful to mak a plan, but how can you do it effectively? Here are the three steps of planning that I consider most important:

The 3 Steps of Planning

1. See Your Dream

Have you heard people say, “Begin with the end in mind”? This is absolutely critical. If you don’t know where you want to end up, how on earth do expect to get there? The more specifics you can envision, the more likely you’ll be to realize your dream.

It also helps to know why you want to realize it!

Think of our friend Andy: He doesn’t just want to lose “some weight”—he wants to lose 25 pounds in 6 months. And he has a good reason: to be healthy enough to play with his kids.

2. Reverse-Engineer Your Dream

Work backwards, step by step, from the end to where you are now. Ask yourself: “For my dream to come true, what would have to happen? And what would I have to do in order for that to happen?” And so forth, until you figure out what you would have to do now to make the next step happen. Create a realistic schedule for doing each step along the way, and commit to it!

3. Take Action

Once you’ve reverse-engineered yourself back to the present—and figured out what action you’d have to take to get to the next step—do it! So often dreams remain merely dreams, and plans remain merely plans. (That’s probably why plans get such a bad rap—and also why the term “dreamer” is so often used pejoratively.)

Go Ahead—Make God Laugh!

When people say, “If you want to make God laugh, make a plan,” what I suspect they really mean is, “If you want to make God laugh, make a plan and then expect it to work out exactly the way you imagined it every step of the way, right down to the tiniest detail.”

Yes, this would be a laughably unrealistic expectation. However, this doesn’t mean that making plans is stupid or useless. On the contrary, plans are what separates “pipe dreams” from dreams that actually come true! Plans bridge the gap from “Wouldn’t it be nice if…” to “Won’t it be nice when…”!

Sure, sometimes people may stumble blindly into their dreams. But do you honestly believe that you have a better chance of achieving your most cherished dreams without making a plan?

Now that would really make God laugh!

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Do you have any plans you’d like to commit to? Any stories of success (or struggles) with past plans? I’d love to hear anything you’d like to share.

Ready for the next step? See my post, 4 Tips for Following Through with Your Plans.

~

(photo by Supersport)

THE JOKE

A guy walks into a five-star French restaurant…

He sits down,  reads the menu, and orders a meal—but when his food arrives, he doesn’t even touch it. After awhile, the waiter comes over and says, “Monsieur, is there a problem with the food?”

And the guy says, “Yeah, it tastes terrible.”

The waiter looks at the guy, looks at his untouched plate of food, and says, “But, monsieur, you haven’t even tried a bite.”

“Don’t argue with me,” the guy says. “I know my own taste buds. But don’t worry—I’ll still pay.” So he pays the bill and walks out.

Then he goes down the street and walks into a Mexican restaurant that all his friends have been raving about.

Again, he sits down,  reads the menu, and orders a meal—but, again, when his food arrives, he doesn’t even touch it. So, after awhile, the waiter comes over and says, “Señor, is there a problem with the food?”

And the guy says, “Yeah, it’s not filling me up.”

The waiter looks at the guy, looks at the untouched food, and says, “But, señor, you haven’t even tried a bite.”

“Don’t argue with me,” the guy says. “I know my own stomach. But don’t worry—I’ll still pay.” So he pays the bill and walks out.

Then he goes down the street and into a health-food restaurant that got a great write-up in the local paper.

Again, he sits down,  reads the menu, and orders a meal—and, again, when his food arrives, he doesn’t even touch it. After awhile, the waiter comes over and says, “Excuse me, sir, is there a problem with the food?”

And the guy says, “Yeah, it’s not making me any healthier.”

The waiter looks at the guy, at his untouched food, and says, “But, sir, you haven’t even taken a bite.”

“Don’t argue with me,” the guy says. “I know my own body. But don’t worry—I’ll still pay.” So he pays the bill and as he’s walking out, he grumbles to himself, “I don’t get what all the hype’s about—these restaurants are all terrible. … And I’m still hungry!”

THE JOKE’S ON US!

OK, maybe it’s not the most hilarious thing you’ve ever heard, but I still think it’s good joke—and not just because I made it up—but because it’s a lot like the way many of us approach self-help.

Think about the guy at the restaurant—what did he do? He read about the food, he ordered it, and he even paid good money for it—but he didn’t do the one thing that would’ve filled him up and made him feel better. He didn’t pick up his fork and actually eat the food!

I know it’s a silly analogy, but I’ve actually done the same thing—and maybe you have too. Did you ever buy exercise equipment that you never used—but still felt disappointed when you didn’t get healthier? Or maybe you’ve read self-help books or watched a movie like The Secret that got you all excited about improving your life… but then you didn’t take the action that would’ve made a difference. Or maybe you weren’t like the guy at the restaurant, and you actually did take a few bites—but then you stopped before you got the full benefit.

Believe me, I have repeated this pattern many times, and I always end up just like the guy in the joke: he leaves the restaurant feeling empty—and even blames the restaurant… and then he goes off looking for something else.

But after years of acting like this, I finally realized that, yes, it is important to read and even to invest in yourself, but the one and only thing that will ultimately change your life is taking action—eating the food, or at least taking that first bite.

And that’s what I encourage you to do—whatever you’d like to bring into your life—take that first step, that first bite! Because that is when positive change truly begins.

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When has taking action helped you to make a positive change? Is there any area of your life where taking action could help you make a change you’ve been wanting? Please comment—I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences!

(photo by chatirygirl)

When I first learned about constellations, I couldn’t help but wonder: What were those Greeks thinking?

Seriously, how could they look at a random cluster of stars and see Cancer the Crab. And that big “M” really looked like Cassiopeia on a throne to them? The weirdest one of all was Ursa Major—sure, a “Big Dipper” seemed reasonable; but no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t see a bear. (Personally, I always thought it looked more like “The Great Question Mark in the Sky”—but that probably says more about me than about the stars themselves!)

It made more sense when I learned that these celestial beings were based on mythology. OK, so maybe the ancient Greeks weren’t so crazy after all—they were just connecting the dots in ways that told their stories. From the “billions and billions” of stars, they picked out a relatively small handful and linked them in ways that reinforced their existing beliefs.

And, in a sense, isn’t that what we all do?

We all tell stories (to others and even to ourselves) by selecting a few details and connecting them in ways that prove our point. The real question—which holds the key to your happiness or unhappiness—is: What details do you focus on, and how do you connect them? Or, to put it back into star-gazing terms:

What constellations are you creating?

When the ancient Greeks looked at the stars, they saw the good and the bad—jealous gods and immortal heroes. What do you see when you look up at the sky—or out at the world around you?

• Do you see greedy people trying to cheat you, or kind people trying to help you?
• Do you see challenges as enemies or as teachers?
• Do you see yourself struggling against constant adversity, or triumphing thanks to your indomitable spirit?

If your constellations are mostly positive—reinforcing the stories that you want to keep telling yourself—fantastic! Keep on feeding that vision!

If, however, they don’t reflect the life you want to live and the person you want to be, don’t worry—you can always create new constellations!

You can literally change your life story!

Changing your story doesn’t mean changing or denying the facts (or flat-out lying!)—it means that you see and present those facts in a different light. All you have to do is focus on different “stars” (or life events) and connect them with stories about the life you want, the world you want to live in, and the person you want to be!

For instance, if you suffered a traumatic event, you can think (and talk) about it as the moment that broke your spirit, or you can see it as a teacher that provided one of your life’s most important lessons. You might even choose to see it as a catalyst for getting back on track—for saying “Enough!” and reclaiming your life!

Or you can choose to focus on other “stars” altogether!

Remember: the stories you tell don’t just reflect the quality of your life—they determine it! So, if you find yourself telling the same story over and over (or different stories with the same underlying message), ask yourself:

• Is this story serving me?
• What story would I rather tell (and live)?
• What life experiences would I have to focus on, and how could I connect these “dots” (or “stars”) to tell a more empowering story?

It’s never too late to create new “constellations”—to rewrite your story in a way that empowers you to live a happier, healthier, more fulfilling life! Even though you can’t change your past, you can change the story you tell about it—which will certainly help create a happier future in which your star shines its brightest!

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What “constellations” keep showing up in your sky? Are there any that you’d like to change? What new stories could you tell that would feel more personally empowering?