I’m not generally a fan of violent movies, but one of my all-time favorite quotes comes from Fight Club–when Brad Pitt asks Edward Norton a simple-but-powerful question:
How’s that working out for you?
In the context of the movie, Pitt’s question implicitly warns of the dangers of ironic detachment and valuing cleverness over wisdom. For me, however, it’s a reminder to practice honest self-reflection.
This question is a great one for us to ask ourselves–especially when our lives are less than ideal–not in a mean or confrontational way, but as an invitation to honest self-assessment and personal growth.
Consider the various factors that make up your reality:
- your thoughts
- your actions
- your attitudes
- who you spend your time with
- what you focus on
And then look at the results these factors are creating in your present life. In other words, ask yourself: How’s that working out for me?
If you can honestly answer, “Great”–if your thoughts and actions are bringing you happiness and joie de vivre–then, by all means, keep doing what you’re doing! But if you’re less than thrilled with the results you’ve been getting, maybe it’s time to consider trying something different.
To put it in mathematical terms: if you keep adding 1 + 2 + 3 but you don’t want to get 6, you’re going to have to change either a number or an operator. You can’t keep doing the same things (or “adding the same numbers”) and expect different results.
As the self-help dictum goes: If you always do what you always did, you’ll always get what you always got.
If what you’ve been doing hasn’t brought you personal fulfillment and happiness, chances are, continuing the same actions (and attitudes) will only bring you more of the same.
Oftentimes, however, even very unhappy people can become set in their ways, reluctant to consider alternative approaches. In Fight Club, for instance, Norton’s character clearly is not doing “great,” as he initially claims. In fact, he hates his life. He lacks meaningful connections or activities. He’s lonely, empty, and stuck in a morally compromising job he despises. It’s easy to see why he’d want to emotionally shield himself with ironic distance (or delusion) from his own life. But under the facade, even he knows that he must change in order to feel deeply fulfilled and truly alive.
How about you–would you like your life to change in any way?
If so, you can start by looking at the way you’ve been living and asking yourself Brad Pitt’s question: How’s that working out for you?
If your honest answer is not as great as you’d like, don’t worry–in a way, that’s good news! It means you’ve taken the first steps toward changing: honesty, self-awareness, and a willingness to change.
How you decide to change is up to you. Maybe you’ll want to make a full-life overhaul, or maybe you’ll simply tweak a few details here and there. But regardless of what you do differently, at least you’ll know that you’re taking some action and moving toward something different–a better chance at finding more happiness!
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How have your past actions and attitudes been working out for you? Are there any parts of your life you’d like to change? What step(s) will you take to begin that process?