I just finished reading (and loving) Brené Brown’s The Gifts of Imperfection.

It was one of those rare books that found me saying, “Yes! Thank you!” to almost every sentence. Sometimes it was because she was saying exactly what I wanted to hear. At other times, it was because she was saying exactly what I didn’t want to hear–but knew that it was exactly what I needed to hear (because it was true).

One such passage was about attitude vs. practice.

Like many people, I’ve always valued having a positive attitude (or an “attitude of gratitude”). While this is certainly wonderful (and far better than the opposite), Brown writes about how this is not enough:

For example, it would be reasonable to say that I have a yoga attitude. The ideals and beliefs that guide my life are very in line with the ideals and beliefs that I associate with yoga. I value mindfulness, breathing, and the body-mind-spirit connection. I even have yoga outfits. But, let me assure you, my yoga attitudes and outfits don’t mean jack if you put me on a yoga mat and ask me to stand on my head and strike a pose. As I’m sitting here writing this, I’ve never practiced yoga. I plan to change that between now and the time you’re holding this book in your hand, but to date, I’ve never put the attitude into action. So where it really matters–on the mat–my yoga attitude doesn’t count for much.

Oof! I relate to this passage more than I care to admit. (But, in keeping with Brown’s emphasis on authenticity and vulnerability, I’ll admit it anyway!)

Brown wasn’t saying anything that I didn’t already know. (She just put it in black and white, so I couldn’t keep ignoring it!) In fact, I used to convey almost the same message to my students when I taught beginning t’ai chi classes.

At the first class, I’d tell them the benefits of practicing t’ai chi: improved balance and circulation, reduced stress and blood pressure, and an overall increase in inner/outer health and well-being (much like yoga). Then, at the final class, I’d ask them to name some benefits of knowing t’ai chi. They would repeat the benefits I’d mentioned during the first class and throughout the course, but I’d tell them (in what was probably an incredibly annoying, smart-alecky way): “No, there are almost no benefits to knowing t’ai chi. You only benefit if you practice–if you actually do it.”

Fast-forward 15 years, and I now find myself not doing t’ai chi anymore–and, therefore, receiving absolutely none of its potential benefits. Yes, I still subscribe to the t’ai chi attitude (flow, balance, harmony, etc.), but I’m not practicing it. (Like Brown with yoga, I do plan on changing this, but this is my truth for right now.)

The Power of Practice

While this principle is very clear for physical practices, it applies to almost every area of life: business, relationships, spirituality, health, creativity, and even gratitude.

We all have areas where our practices don’t reflect our attitudes. The question is: what do we do when we recognize these areas?

4 Tips to Help you Match Your Actions to Your Attitudes:

• Nix the negative self-talk! I hope we can agree not to beat ourselves up! Self-flagellation hurts! And, as Brown teaches (in an earlier book), you can’t shame someone into changing their behaviors (in healthy, long-term ways). So let’s put the kaibash on any self-talk about how you suck…because you don’t!
• It all starts with awareness! Just recognizing a disconnect can be the first step in changing it–if you want to! (…which leads to the next point):
• Pick your practices! There are only so many hours in a day (24, to be precise). No matter how much you’d like to practice yoga and t’ai chi and meditation and creative writing and growing your business and A+ model parenting and basket weaving and all the other things you’d like to do (or feel you should do), you may have to prioritize–pick a few practices (or even just one) that’s most near and dear to your heart, and understand that the others may have to simmer on the back-burner for now.
• Remember: Practice makes perfect progress! Practice isn’t about perfection! It’s about doing something that fills you with life. It’s about the experience itself. And, if you do have an ultimate goal (in addition to in-the-moment enjoyment), practice will move you toward it. No, it probably won’t instantly teleport you to that final destination, but making progress can often be just as satisfying as actually crossing the finish line.

The Attitude Solution

We can all locate attitude/practice gaps in our lives–whether it’s Brené Brown not practicing yoga, me not practicing t’ai chi, a business-person not implementing the “best practices” in their company, or someone with an “attitude of gratitude” that they rarely express.

But rather than getting down on ourselves about these gaps and seeing them as proof of the problems in our lives (or, worse yet, in ourselves), we can see these attitudes as signs of our potential.

Just by noticing our attitudes, we’ve identified areas that are important to us. We’ve identified core values and beliefs. And we’ve identified a way to make our attitudes come alive in our external lives: through practice!

And the more our attitudes and practices align, the more we reach our potential, express our true selves, and enjoy our lives!

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What attitudes would you like to put into action? How can you practice them in your daily life?

I’d love to hear your comments about this topic. Also, if you enjoyed this article, please feel free to share it (through the social-media buttons below, or in any other way). Thanks for coming by and reading!