We live in an either/or society:
- You’re either male or female.
- You’re either Republican or Democrat.
- You’re either a citizen or a foreigner.
- You’re either a Yankees fan or a Red Sox fan.
Yes, sometimes the either/or approach has its advantages. For instance, your computer couldn’t work without binary code — transmitting data through “bits” (either a zero or a one).
Either/or keeps things clear, unmuddled, and unambiguous — which is great for computers. But human life isn’t always so cut and dry. Most situations aren’t either/or, and boxing yourself into a binary mindset can rob you of life’s richness — and stop you from realizing your full potential.
(You might even be costing yourself millions of dollars! Read on, and I’ll explain.)
How does an either/or mindset show up (and limit you) in your life? For instance, do you ever try to fit yourself (or others) into one — and only one — of the following sides?
- You’re either left-brained or right-brained.
- You’re either spiritual or secular.
- You’re either head-focused or heart-focused.
- You’re either an artist or a business person.
It’s this last area that I see the either/or mindset pop up in the most. So many people seem to think in terms of Art vs. Commerce.
(“Versus” is usually a red flag of the either/or mindset.)
They think that creativity and commerce are mutually exclusive. That if you’re selling, you must be selling out. That if you can manage a paintbrush, you can’t manage a business. Or, conversely, that if you’re good with numbers and sales, then you couldn’t possibly be artistic.
But nothing could be further from the truth. Expressing both sides of this false dichotomy isn’t merely possible, it’s essential!
By shutting yourself off to latent aspects of your personality, you’re severely limiting your potential — in terms of personal fulfillment, creativity, and earnings.
As I mentioned earlier, seeing your life through an either/or lens could be costing you millions! You might have a million-dollar idea or million-dollar talent but not believe that you possess enough business savvy to share that idea with the world. Or perhaps you’re a master marketer who’s reluctant to unleash the creative ideas that would really move the world — all because you don’t define yourself as “a creative type.”
And that’s what it really comes down to: self-definition.
Do you define yourself in limiting, either/or terms, or do you embrace your multi-faceted richness? Do you think that being strong in one area implies weaknesses in other areas? Do you think in terms of competition (e.g., head vs. heart) or cooperation (e.g., all of your senses working together)?
Would you be willing to explore latent aspects of yourself? Would you be willing to consider that the “shadow” sides that you might have resisted could be the missing pieces of your life’s puzzle?
True, most people lean one way or another in most areas. Some tend to be more emotional and imaginative, while others are primarily intellectual and logical. And some people are naturally inclined to the arts more than to business. That’s not a problem. The problem is if you see such areas as mutually exclusive — in opposition to one another, rather than two parts working together to form a harmonious whole.
Once you begin to see beyond the either/or mindset, however, you’ll find that pairs you may have considered opposites (or opponents) can actually be complementary and mutually supportive. You’ll find that inner (or outer) conflicts don’t have to be conflicts at all. You’ll find that life isn’t always black and white, but full of many shades of gray — and red, green, blue, and the entire spectrum.
Embracing this full spectrum is what makes life so rich, fulfilling, and rewarding…in every sense.
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Do you tend to pit art against commerce (or head vs. heart, emotion vs. logic, etc.)? Does your self-definition limit you or keep you from realizing your full potential? How can you bring more creativity into your business, more business smarts into your creative work, and more of your full self into all areas of your life?