Each year around Halloween, our thoughts (and decorations and kids’ costumes) often involve ghouls, goblins, and monsters. And the monsters that seem to be enjoying the greatest vogue in recent years (due in large part to the Twilight series) are vampires.

Although I’ve managed to avoid the most recent wave of vampire-mania, there is one bit of lore I’ve somehow picked up in this area: Vampires are only allowed to enter your home if you invite them in.

Now, before I go any further, I should clarify: No, I do not believe in actual vampires. And, as I’ve already mentioned, I have not been “bitten” by the recent wave of obsession with pop-culture vampires (no matter how hunky or goth-chic they may be). I do, however, believe that many people and situations can (metaphorically/energetically) “suck the blood” right out of you — they can drain your life-force, deplete your energy, and leave you feeling physically and emotionally enervated.

If you’ve ever felt preyed upon by “emotional vampires” (such as bullies; narcissists; or anyone who sucks you into their long, boring monologues) you’re not alone. You’re also not without help: numerous articles, courses, and entire books have been written about how to deal with the draining people/elements in your life. While it’s good to know that help is available, I’m more interested in the preventive approach of not inviting these “vampires” into your life in the first place.

So, how do we (metaphorically) “invite a vampire into our home”? I can answer this question with a single word: ATTENTION.

When you give something (including a person or even a thought) your attention, you invite it into your experience. And when you continue to focus on it, you “feed” it — you give it your “blood,” your energy, your life-force.

This is not to say that you shouldn’t give your time and energy to others. Much of the time, the energy you give (or “invest”) is returned to you — perhaps many times over! That’s how you know that you’re not dealing with an emotional vampire. Rather than feeling drained, you feel energized, uplifted, full of life, seen, heard, loved. When the opposite is true, however, you may have entered the Twilight zone (not to be confused with The Twilight Zone, although it may feel like that as well).

The good news is that BOTH of these experiences — feeling uplifted or drained — are helpful. They’re both useful forms of feedback from the universe (and from your own emotions/energy), letting you know whether or not something is aligned with your highest good. If it is (as evidenced by your good/energized feelings), keep doing what you’re doing! But if it drains you, it might be time for a healthy change.

Here’s where my advice may differ from classic vampire lore (and many self-help teachings). My approach isn’t to try to “combat” or “slay” the vampire (not even with metaphorical stakes). The way I see it, if you invite a “vampire” into your life through attention, the way to remove it is to simply WITHDRAW that attention.

But even that wording may be too negative — and perhaps too difficult. (By trying to not focus on something, you’re still focusing on it in a way, right? Like the classic example: “DON’T think about a white elephant!”…and what’s the next thing you think of?)

Instead, I’ll offer the closest thing I know to a panacea — for dealing with vampires, negative thoughts, or anything else that doesn’t uplift you: Focus on what you DO want. Give your attention to what makes you feel good. Think, say, and do things that FILL you with life, love, and energy.

When you fill your thoughts, emotions, and life with positivity, there is simply no space for emotional vampires or anything else that depletes you. They cannot exist in that high-vibration environment!

So the next time you notice a vampire at your doorstep, don’t panic or feel the need to perform esoteric rituals to ward off evil spirits. Simply choose not to invite them in — by returning your attention to anything uplifting, life-affirming, or soul-nourishing. Before long, the vampires will move along…and you’ll be too focused on joy to even notice!

(Of course, if those vampires happen to be under four feet tall and shouting “trick or treat,” they can probably be placated by a candy bar or two!)