Unless I know you fairly well, I don’t know what addictions you do or don’t have. I don’t know if you smoke, drink to excess, gamble compulsively, binge eat junk food, or bite your nails.

I also don’t know if you have any positive addictions (or, if that feels too much like an oxymoron, we can just call them good habits). You might meditate every day, exercise, drink green smoothies, or do anything else on a regular basis that helps you feel better — and that, if you were to stop suddenly, would make you go through withdrawal (or at least feel kind of off).

Because I’m not psychic and I don’t have a hidden camera in your house, I simply don’t know your addictions…except for one:

YOUR THOUGHTS!

I know that you have addictive thought patterns!

I may not have access to the specific ones that come up again and again (compulsively and unbidden) for you, but I have a feeling that some of them revolve around feeling mad, sad, or scared.

• Maybe your mind habitually gripes (about the government, your boss, your job, your relationship, your lack of a relationship, or whoever/whatever happens to be around).
• Maybe your mind habitually turns to depressing situations (or melancholy memories, tragedies beyond your control, or anything else that brings you down or exacerbates your pre-existing sadness).
• Maybe your mind habitually worries (about money, your family, or hypothetical worst-case scenarios).

Whether your habitual thoughts are anything like those mentioned above or completely different, they’ve probably become so common for you that you barely notice them. You might not think of these mental habits as addictions, but they are!

Recurring thought patterns are every bit as addictive as smoking or other addictive actions. And, like many addictions, you might engage in these thoughts compulsively, hardly realizing that you’re doing it. And, also like many other addictions, you might keep on doing it even if it brings you no joy, satisfaction, or fulfillment — because that’s just what you do (or think).

The Good News and the Bad News

I’ll start with the bad news (which, don’t worry, isn’t really bad news — it just sounds like it): You will always have thought-addictions.

That’s just part of being human and having a brain. You have thoughts every waking moment (except perhaps during moments of deep meditation), and most of them are habitual.

But here’s the good news: The fact that the human mind seems to be addictive, by its very nature, can work to your advantage! Just like you can get addicted to healthy behaviors, you can get addicted to healthy thoughts! Here’s how:

4 Steps to Healthy Thought-Addictions

1. Awareness. If you don’t notice your chronic thoughts, there’s little hope of changing them.
2. Ask: Is this thought serving me? (In other words: Does this thought make me feel better or worse?) Maybe you have uplifting thought-addictions that you don’t want to stop — in which case, don’t! But if a habitual thought makes you feel worse, you’ll probably want to move to step 3…
3. Don’t Eliminate…REDIRECT! Trying to stop an addictive thought is about as easy as stopping a speeding truck without brakes from rolling down a hill! You can’t often stop your mind in its tracks, but you can redirect it to a different “road” — much like a brakeless truck might be steered into the “runaway truck” lane.
4. Be selfish enough to feel good! Place a high value on feeling good — and remember that feeling good (or bad, sad, mad, glad, or anything else) begins with your thoughts. Know that you are worth having a happy, healthy head!

Like any addiction, your addictive thoughts serve a purpose — most likely, providing some sort of comfort for you (if nothing else, through their familiarity). And as with many other addictions, you may even get a rush from replaying your mental scripts — much like you might get a sugar high from binge-eating junk food.

But just like all that junk food, negative thoughts aren’t nourishing you — and they’re keeping you from more nourishing fare. (To take this metaphor into somewhat disgusting territory: you can literally make yourself sick by binging on negative thoughts, regurgitating the same things over and over.)

Also, please don’t judge yourself! Having negative addictive thoughts doesn’t make you a bad person — any more than having the flu (or a drinking problem) does. It just means that you don’t feel as good as you’d like to. And, like any form of recovery, the process takes time, so be easy on yourself, congratulate yourself for the positive steps you are taking, and know that your goal is a worthy one!

Ultimately, this process is between you and you.

When a sickness or an addiction is external, it’s easy to spot — and to point out the benefits of recovery. Addictive thoughts, on the other hand, are less visible (although others can see the results of them), so it’s really up to you to decide whether or not you want to keep or change the thoughts that keep swirling around your head on a daily basis. And that decision really comes down to this one simple question:

Do you want to feel better?

…

What are some of your thought-addictions? Do you find yourself replaying the same old worries, gripes, or dead-end inner dialogues? If you could replace some of your habitual thoughts with others, what self-nourishing thoughts would you prefer?

As ludicrous as it might sound, what if your friend told you that they wanted to “solve” the South Pole? (And no, they weren’t talking about global warming — and no, they’re not a penguin.) Imagine the ridiculous conversation you might have:

Friend: I’ve got a big problem: Every year I go to the South Pole, and I always get really cold — even if I bundle up in the warmest clothes I have.

You: Well, then just don’t go there!

Friend: But that doesn’t solve the problem! That’s just avoidance!

You: Exactly! I think that you should avoid going to the South Pole! Maybe instead, you could go somewhere warmer, like a tropical beach.

Friend: But I always go to the South Pole. That’s my yearly tradition, and I intend to keep going!

You: Then you’re going to be cold.

Friend: But I don’t want to be! I already told you — that’s the problem I want to solve! Don’t you understand?

You: I guess not.

…

And, fortunately, neither do I.

I don’t understand why so many people try to get to the bottom of issues, unravel dilemmas, and solve problems  when they could simply NOT GO THERE!

(In fact, I don’t understand why so many people see so many situations as “problems” to begin with — as opposed to simply “what is” — but that’s a whole other blog post.)

Yes, some problems can be solved: A toothache can often be fixed with a shot of Novocain and perhaps a filling. A true emergency can often be solved by dialing 911. And a remarkably high percentage of non-emergency problems can be solved by typing a few words into Google.

But then there’s a whole other category of perceived “problems” that aren’t necessarily problems at all — they’re just situations that you don’t particularly like. And while some of them can be changed, many of them can’t (such as the weather).

As the Serenity Prayer suggests, you can learn to accept the things you can’t change, but you also have another option: shift your focus. Go somewhere else (somewhere “warmer”)!

The South-Pole scenario is intentionally ludicrous, but it’s often just as nonsensical (and ineffective) to try to change perceived problems when you could simply not go there. After all, as with literal travel, there are so many other (and more enjoyable) places that you could go.

In many cases, perceived problems can’t be “fixed” (because they’re not really problems to begin with), but even if you could fix them, this would often entail spending years in the “South Pole,” so to speak — in other words, it would mean spending your precious time and energy focusing on something that you don’t like.

And when you do this, Law of Attraction brings you even more situations that you don’t like. So not only do you not “fix” anything, but you have a terrible time while you’re trying — and you miss out on all the great places where you’d much rather be spending your time!

As I said earlier, I’m not saying that problems don’t exist or that you shouldn’t try to improve your situation. (There are toothaches and computer viruses in this world!) But before you go trying to make massive changes, ask yourself a few basic questions:

• Is this really a problem?
• If so, can it be changed?
• If so, how can I focus on the solution rather than the problem?
• And if the external situation can’t be changed, how can I feel better about it? (For instance, most non-Arctic cold can be “fixed” by putting on a coat.)

But before you try to “fix” anything (including yourself), consider that you may not have to — if you simply choose to direct your attention, your action, and your energy onto something positive. Not only will this be a much more fruitful use of your time, but you’ll attract even more positive experiences.

And in the meantime, you’ll enjoy your life!

…

Have you been mentally “traveling” to problematic areas? If so, would you consider changing your itinerary and spending your time in more appealing places? Remember, while you don’t always have the power to change externals, you can always choose your own focus — and you’ve got a whole world full of positive options to choose from!

The biggest change in my life over the past few months is that now, unlike before, when I realize I’ve made a wrong turn, I don’t keep driving down that road!

• I’m not talking about literal wrong turns (although it’s true for those as well).
• I’m not talking about figurative wrong turns — actions that lead you someplace where you didn’t want to go. (I’ve already written a post about that — and what to do when it happens.)
• I’m talking about mental “wrong turns” — thought patterns that take you off your intended path…perhaps even into an inner “ditch.”

It’s not a big deal to have unintended thoughts. In fact, sometimes a train of thought can lead you into very interesting terrain, giving birth to ideas or perspectives you’d never considered — many of which may turn out to be breakthroughs, epiphanies, or just pleasant surprises.

Other times, however, you may find yourself habitually turning down inner roads that leave you stuck in the mud, spinning your wheels, and stranded a long way from your intended destination.

Again, it’s not the end of the world to get temporarily stuck now and then. You take a walk, take a nap, call a friend (or a tow truck), shift your focus, and eventually get unstuck — and moving into more pleasant inner territory. And oftentimes, in retrospect you realize that the “wrong turn” ended up being a valuable learning experience.

The problem for me became when I found myself taking the same wrong turns again and again and again. And even after I recognized it (“Oh, here I am heading down this muddy backstreet again — in the opposite direction of where I want to go!”), I’d still keep on heading down the same road — thinking the same old thoughts, spinning my mental wheels, and getting covered with mud!

But recently I realized that I have a choice!

More than just realized it — I began making different mental choices. And although it took a little practice to change some deeply ingrained thought patterns, I now find that I can turn on a dime — and so can anyone! It just takes a few key elements:

1. Desire (part 1) – If you don’t want to change your thought patterns, you won’t. Simple as that.
2. Recognition – You start to notice recurring, unhealthy thoughts, just as you might recognize a road you’d accidentally turned onto many times. (“Oh yeah, there’s that abandoned warehouse again — I’m definitely headed the wrong way!”) In other words, recognize a familiar thought that you know is not serving you.
3. Remembering – From your past excursions, you remember where this mental road leads — and you know that it’s not a place where you care to spend more of your time.
4. Redirection – Just as you can hit the brakes, turn the steering wheel, and make a U-turn in your car, you can also redirect your thoughts. And, as with driving, it’s helpful to know where you do want to go!
5. Desire (part 2) – Just as this process starts with the desire to change your thoughts, it ends (or continues) by focusing on your desired thoughts and feelings — aligning your thoughts with your intentions, your dreams, and your soul. In short, you focus on your (very healthy!) desire to feel good!

In my case, I had a few habitual thought-patterns that I found myself stuck in so many times that I could no longer pretend that I was lost. In fact, I knew exactly where I was and exactly where these thoughts would lead: straight into the mental mud!

I also knew that these recurring thoughts were unproductive. I wasn’t “solving” any problems — I was just spinning my wheels in the mud (and driving myself nuts!). And after 1000+ excursions into the same “thought-ditch,” I couldn’t kid myself that I was making any progress.

On top of this, the more I learned about the Law of Attraction (especially the fact that creation begins at the level of thought), the more I realized that I didn’t want to keep manifesting experiences that matched these thoughts!

So, for the past few months, any time I recognized these “muddy roads,” I’d simply mentally change the subject. I’d make a mental U-turn and head down a different road — one that I knew would lead somewhere healthier:

• I’d focus on gratitude.
• I’d focus on happy memories.
• I’d focus on my dreams and positive intentions.
• I’d focus on anything at all that felt better!

And it worked!

Simple as it may sound, I’ve been able to turn my thoughts around — and turn my life around — largely by hitting the brakes the moment I found myself on a mental “road” I didn’t want to revisit. Before too long, the tendencies to turn down those roads dwindled to almost nothing. And instead, turning toward gratitude and positive thoughts became second-nature.

And thanks to Law of Attraction, I’ve noticed these changed thoughts reflected in my improved external reality. And yes, that is a nice perk, but it’s not really why I made the shift. The real reason is much simpler:

It just feels better!

…

Do you ever find yourself stuck in unwanted, recurring thought patterns? Would you like to stop heading down those mental roads? If so, the next time you recognize one of those thoughts, simply hit the mental brakes and redirect your thoughts to something that feels better.

It might sound simplistic, but it works! Not only will you feel better in the moment, but your external life will start to reflect these positive new patterns.

Still not convinced? Why not give it a try? The only thing you have to lose is a bit of “mental mud”!

…

photo by Samo Trebizan

For the past few years I’ve practiced my own personal New Year’s tradition:

On January 1, I pick a word for the year and write it on my bathroom mirror — where it stays for the next 365 days.

I write the word in bold, blue Sharpie and position it so that whenever I look in the mirror, I see it just above my head (or, if I’m standing with particularly good posture, as if it’s written directly on my forehead).

Each time I see the word, it reinforces its meaning, its power, and its role in my life — so I’m careful to choose a word that I want to embody throughout the year ahead.

In 2013 I picked the word FINISH.

That was a time when I had numerous projects in various stages of incompletion. I wanted to reinforce my commitment to (you guessed it) finish them.

And, for the most part, it worked! I finished several Soulful Journals, ecourses, and other projects I’d been in the midst of.

There was one problem, however: As I focused on finishing, I kept finding myself either looking forward (to the time when a project would be finished) or looking backward (often with relief at having finished a project, but still looking back — which is not exactly the Zen-like, be-here-now approach I’d like to live by).

So I made my word for 2014 HERE.

This word (which graced my bathroom mirror until two weeks ago) reminded me that life isn’t happening in the future or the past, but right here and now. The frequent reminder served as an antidote to a tendency I’ve had most of my life: looking into the future, thinking that my “real life” was waiting just around the corner.

While there’s certainly nothing wrong with reflecting on your past or looking eagerly into the future, I didn’t want to miss the ever-present now.

And again, for the most part, the blue-Sharpied word drove home that point — again and again and again — throughout the year.

And that leads me to (once again) here and now.

I find myself in a place where I’d like to integrate the concepts from the last two years — to find a way of looking ahead and moving forward, without rushing past the present.

I want to allow my future to flow into my present — joyously and naturally. I want to appreciate the present without stagnating. I want to make progress and enjoy the process.

So my word of the year for 2015 is…

… (drumroll) …

FLOW!

In addition to everything I mentioned above, this word has significance for me on many levels:

• It embodies a core metaphor of the Abraham-Hicks teachings: downstream — going with the flow of life rather than fighting against the current.
• It offers a feeling of progress without striving — allowing rather than forcing; experiencing effortless, natural, and joyous forward motion.
• It embodies my ideal mode of work/action — getting into the flow of whatever I’m doing and enjoying the state of being “in the zone,” regardless of the action.
• And it provides a feeling of relief — the sense of “aaahhh.” 🙂

I’m already enjoying looking at my word every day, knowing that each successive viewing further imprints the meaning, the energy, and the feeling that it embodies. And I look forward to following the flow of this process — allowing it to flow into my conscious, my subconscious, and every aspect of my life.

And I hope (and expect) that a year from now I’ll be able to report that it’s done just that!

…

What’s YOUR word of the year?

Do you have a one-word theme or motto that you’d like to embody throughout 2015? I would definitely encourage you to pick a word that fits the life you’d like to create, and to reinforce it in any way that feels right to you.

Get creative, have fun, and let the word work its magic on you. You’ll be amazed at how much one little word can change your entire year…and your life!

I’d love to hear your word, how you incorporate it into your life, or any other thoughts you’d like to share about this process. Let the comments flow! 🙂

HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope that you had a wonderful end to 2014 and a happy New Year’s celebration — and that 2015 is already starting off great for you!

So, it’s that time of year again: time to turn over a new calendar page, turn over a new leaf, and make your New Year’s resolutions.

(Or not.)

When you think of New Year’s resolutions, do you think, “Yay!” — or do you think, “Ugh!”. Or do you start off thinking, “Yay!” (in January) and end up thinking “Ugh!” (by February, if not sooner).

If you’ve ever gotten excited about a New Year’s resolution — a plan to join a gym, work out regularly, eat better, or start (and stick to) any other new habit — only to lose steam within a month or so, don’t worry — you’re not alone! This seems to be a near-universal phenomenon.

But why is this? Why do so many noble and worthwhile goals start off from a place of enthusiastic inspiration and end up as onerous (and often neglected) chores?

Because so many resolutions are “upstream”!

That is, they fight the current of your natural tendencies and proclivities. They fight the current of universal laws. Or they’re too much of a stretch, too specific, or simply not fun!

So does this mean that we should just abandon our hopes, dreams, and goals?

Not at all! But I would just recommend an alternative to the typically upstream approach of New Year’s resolutions: NEW YEAR’S MANIFESTATIONS!

What are New Year’s Manifestations — and how are they different from resolutions?

Well, for starters, here’s what New Year’s manifestations are NOT about:

• They’re NOT about making a long list of resolutions…trying to FORCE yourself to do things you don’t enjoy.
• They’re NOT about willpower…trying to DENY yourself the things you truly want.
• They’re NOT about struggle…trying to reach your goals through sheer determination, extreme EFFORT, or superhuman strength.
• They’re NOT about the no pain, no gain approach to life…struggling toward (alleged) joy with gritted teeth, straining muscles, and bulging veins!
• And they’re NOT about being miserable in the moment…trying to bring about some FUTURE reward that makes all your present suffering worthwhile.

They ARE about GOING WITH THE FLOW!

They are about feeling good now, feeling good when you reach your goals, and feeling good every step of the way!

But how do you do this? What’s the manifestation process?

You may have already learned about (or used) various approaches to manifestation, but I’d like to offer three of my favorites from the Abraham-Hicks teachings…which you can use for the new year or whenever you’d like! One of them uses three steps, another uses two steps, and the last uses just one!

Three-Step Manifestation

This is an easy one to remember because all three steps start with A: Ask, Answer, Allow. It’s also an easy one to follow, because two out of the three steps happen naturally!

Asking is what you do every time you feel a desire, develop a preference, or literally ask (others or the Universe) for something you want. Most of the time you don’t even have to consciously think about this step!

Answering is the job of the Universe and Law of Attraction. Again, you don’t even have to think about this part. Which means that the only thing you really have to do in this process is…

Allowing…which is actually more of a “not-do” because you pretty much just have to release resistance to not-receiving…perhaps by focusing on that which you desire rather than the undesirable circumstance that you’re trying to change.

In a word: receive!

(Now isn’t that easier than gritting your teeth and sticking to a torturous resolution for the next 365 days? But, as easy as this three-step process might sound — and be — there’s actually an approach that’s even easier!)

Two-Step Manifestation

If three steps sounds like more than you’d like to keep track of (especially when two steps happen automatically/unconsciously), you might prefer this two-step approach:

1. Feel good.
2. Notice the good things and experiences that flow into your life.

Yes, it can be as easy as that — no need to worry about the how, when, where, or any other specifics, which can get a bit stressful when you don’t know all the answers. And after all, the specifics are usually just a means to an end: the goal of feeling good!

But believe it or not, there’s another approach to manifestation that’s even simpler…

One-Step Manifestation

This process is so straightforward that it can be summarized in a single word:

Align.

Yes, that’s all there is to it. Align with your Inner Being, your desires, your good feelings, and everything/everyone that augments those good feelings.

You can think of this as becoming a “vibrational match” to your desires, choosing better-feeling thoughts, or simply focusing the majority of your attention on what you want (rather than what you don’t want).

Or, as with the two-step process above, you can simply think of it in terms of feeling good — which, after all, is the goal of any desire, resolution, or manifestation. And while external manifestations can take a while, better feelings are available immediately.

Without waiting 365 days!

Happy Manifesting!

No matter what process you use, I hope that the approach of New Year’s manifestations helps to make 2015 your most joyous, abundant, flowing, and wonderful year yet!

…

P.S. If you’d like a little support with your resolu… er, manifestations over the coming months, this might be a great time for you to check out the Soulful Life Sanctuary — because we’re just starting our group session of The Magic Formula, a course designed to help you manifest anything you want!

If you’re not already a sanctuary member, you can click here to learn more and try it for free — which gives you full access to The Magic Formula and all other ecourses by me and my wife, Jodi Chapman, as well as Soul Guides (experts in Wellness, Self-Care, Abundance, and other areas), discussion groups, live and archived classes, a book club, and much more.

* * * Click here to learn more and check it out for FREE! * * *
(Absolutely no charge and no obligation!)

I hope to see you there!  🙂